There is more and more talk about sexual empowerment. This is…
- Knowing what one likes in the field of pleasure
- Asking for it
- Saying it openly and without fear
But how do you get it? How do you get to that point?
The fear of saying what one likes, of being able to talk about sex, being ashamed, prioritizing the wishes of the other is very common in our society. Many times we relate this to female sexuality, we think that it is more in line with women, but it is not like that.
Both men and women suffer from this blockage and discomfort; sometimes, I have heard extreme situations such as the fear of telling your partner that you do not like how he kisses you after 8 years of a relationship.
It is impossible that we like everything they do to us, that we fit in perfectly with the partner on an intimate level, therefore, if possible, it is best to start communicating from the beginning, to generate a positive dynamic in the field of sexual communication.
It is essential to be able to have naturalness and comfort in that space to connect and enjoy, but we must be clear when to say things and how. Assertiveness in sex is essential to avoid misunderstandings and do emotional damage, it is a very delicate aspect.
During the meetings, we can make specific requests, guide the stimulation and say no if we do not like something, but if we have to go deeper, it is better to do it in a relaxed moment and with time to expose what is necessary.
How do you get to express and ask in sex?
The first step is to know what we like and what we do not like, if you have doubts yourself about what you feel or question your tastes or sensations, it is impossible to position yourself safely before the other. Therefore, you have to explore your own sexuality.
The second point is to have self-esteem and feel good about yourself. If there is insecurity, it will cause a blockage in the expression of needs. First, you have to feel personal security to be able to empower yourself and expose what you want without fear.
The next step is to identify the ideal moment and the way to transmit it, we must not only think about our own thoughts but also empathize and assess how to expose them without hurting the other person or attacking their feelings. Of course, we cannot control how the other is going to live it and how it is going to be taken by the other, but we must manage the part that depends on ourselves.
And the last point is to assess if the other person welcomes our needs if there is a positive attitude, and how later that is transferred to intimacy. It may happen that the experience is positive, there is an agreement, and changes in sexuality take place that generates a better coupling, or it may be that the other person generates a blockage and rejection. If this happens, it will be best first to understand the reason and assess the best way to manage it.