Our mind is constantly playing tricks on us.
It does so with the best intention -to keep us safe and comfortable in what we already know and are accustomed to.
Changes can bring many new things into our lives, some great and desirable and some potentially risky for our wellbeing.
Our mind focuses on the latter and tries to keep us in the comfort zone. It continues to do so even when the comfort zone no longer feels comfortable, and even when we are neither happy nor fulfilled with the lives we’re living.
The thought patterns we tend to fall into, to rationalize not taking the necessary step out of this “safe” place, are called my mental blocks towards love.
Here is how to start dealing with them.
Access Your Inner Self
To be able to start recognizing your mindset blocks and find a way of overcoming them, you need to have a clear view of who you are and what exactly you want to accomplish.
And you can’t achieve this unless you reconnect with your inner-self so that you can understand your own needs and desires, your values, goals, and purpose. Such insight requires a high level of introspection. This process will help you become aware of the distinction between your own inner-self identity, and the identities that are constructed by the roles you play in society.
Techniques such as meditation, yoga, and mindfulness can bring you closer to this goal. During this process, you may find that your inner-self and your other identities are not aligned. This can cause a lot of troubles and unhappiness in your life. Not to mention that it’s usually the root of your resistance to change.
Identify Your Mindset Blocks
Apart from becoming aware of your inner self’s needs, you need to learn how to identify those negative mindset patterns that hold you back from living your true purpose.
Some of the most common beliefs which are at the core of these mindset blocks are:
- I’m undeserving and unworthy.
- I’m not okay. There is something basically wrong with me.
- Things are only getting worse no matter what I do.
- I’m powerless to change anything in my life.
- I’m ugly. No one will ever love me.
- I’m not smart enough.
You will probably recognize yourself in at least one of these beliefs, or feel the need to add another common one to this list.
If you are having a problem to achieve a concrete goal, you can try an exercise to determine the mindset blocks that are stopping you.
Write a sentence “I can’t achieve _____________ because I _____________.” Then fill in the blanks, and repeat until you’ve listed 20 – 30 reasons, no matter how silly or stupid they may sound. Don’t dwell on your answers, just write them down.
When finished, read them carefully, and see if any of these thoughts ring true to you. Determine whether you believe in them, and up to what degree.
You can try a similar exercise and write negative ideas and beliefs you have about yourself. Afterward, read them slowly, and see how much emotional power they have over you, as well as whether they bring any associations.
Focus On Your Strengths
After you’ve brought focus to your inner-self and the negative patterns stopping you from realizing your potential, you need to find ways to actively keep going further, closer to your dreams.
Different people need different paths to bring out the best in them – a balanced diet and exercise may result in a significant weight loss in some overweight people. But some of them can achieve their long-term health goals only with the help of sleeve gastrectomy, or some other medical procedure.
When you’re aware of your inner-self, you’ll find it much easier to recognize your strengths and your limitations and focus your powers on what you can achieve.
Be Aware of What You Can’t Control
When you start moving forward towards your goals and making the necessary changes, don’t let your fear be your enemy. Accept it like it’s your precautious ally, that is always pointing out to every possible risk, while not knowing much about your potential to overcome it.
You can count on many obstacles along your path of change. Some of those obstacles you can gain control of, such as your mindset blocks and your fear. Others, like the expectations of the others, or the future events, you simply can’t.
Try channeling your energy into actions that are within your power, instead of wasting it on the things that aren’t.
Don’t expect an immediate shift in your mindset once you’ve identified your mind’s tricks. These mindset blocks will come back every now and then, but the impact they have will only grow milder as you grow stronger.
by Rebecca Brown
I’m Rebecca, a translator and avid traveler, a book worm and horror flick enthusiast. My job has given me the amazing opportunity to travel to dozens of countries around the world, and writing on Rough Draft gives me a chance to try to showcase some of them.