How often have you heard that bad kids come from bad parents? The fact is that there are several signs of bad parenting. In the real world, our actions speak louder than words. The attitude, views, goals, and perspective of a child depend to a large extent on what he or she learns from his or her parents. In this article, we’ll look at 10 bad habits parents fall into, without realizing it.
No discipline, all fun & games
Kids become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything at their will. Owing to hectic lifestyles and both parents working, no one does the work of disciplining the kids as life is already chaotic. If this is how your kids live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit their aunt or cousin. They simply wouldn’t know how to behave appropriately. Discipline is the only way your kids grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do some real hard work to raise kids who know how to behave properly. There will be times when kids will test the parents by breaking rules, hence parents need to establish and clearly communicate the consequences of breaking those rules
If you scream or hit your kids, your kids will be afraid of you. You are ultimately increasing the distance; this form of disciplining may backfire. Kids subject to physical punishment may develop psychological problems during adolescence and even turn aggressive. No matter what your instincts say, yet there is no study that states that there is any positive effect of hitting kids. You need to handle kids sensitively, spanking the child for disciplining is just not the way.
Not devoting your time
Your kids don’t just need food or money from you, they want to speak to you, share their experiences, and sometimes need to hear your comforting words. Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts. The parents should hug and spend time with their kids. As Jane Hull perfectly puts it, ‘At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents’
Young babies will love the way you advocate their mischief however as they grow up this can be viewed as restrictive and interfering. You have projected that you will always cover up their mistakes and protect them even when they are wrong. They will eventually take you for granted and develop an arrogant attitude.
“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Charles Swindoll.
The way you speak, treat your partner and elders, behave in public, at home, the words you use are all being soaked up by your kids. If you often take your kids to bar, drink, and abuse others then your kids will feel that this is how they are supposed to behave too
It’s easy to spot a child being favored over others. If you corner one kid of the lot, punish or scold him more than others then the child will definitely be hurt. This will give rise to the feelings of resentment and injustice for you. This will later appear in the form of badmouthing by your kids as they grow up. They will simply lose their trust in you. Again comparing your child to others will also affect him negatively, and may simply make your kid unable to take on challenges of life.
Labeling kids as lazy or dumb and using these words in public can significantly hurt a child and lower his self-esteem. Likewise, if you criticize your kid’s efforts or look down upon him by comparing it with other achievements, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment.
Fulfilling every wish
Buying everything your kid lays his finger on is again a sign of bad parenting. Such kids fail to understand the value of money. They will demand anything from you anytime expecting you to present it to them, whatever your circumstances. Even after they grow up, such kids end up hopelessly on financial fronts and are unable to level responsibilities. Sometimes, this need may provoke them to steal, lie, or become rude.
Interfering too much
If you try to resolve every tiff your child gets into, you are interrupting with his social development. They will grow up being overly dependent on you and fail to develop skills necessary to survive in the competitive world. Allow your kids to handle things on their own, they are capable of doing so.
Lack of trust
It is not uncommon for others to complain about a child. If you believe in others’ complaints more than your kid, you are passing the signal that your child is a brute and liar. If you turn deaf ears to your child’s explanations and pleas, your child develops insecurity and may turn a rebel. This will result in hiding things from you and they will eventually even stop explaining themselves.
The worst thing is when someone is only listening to themselves. You can’t provide the other person with what they need if you don’t take the time out to listen & understand them.
Communication is key. If you consistently yell eventually they will tune you out. The key is to talk to each other and be compassionate to each other’s feelings.
It ultimately boils down on the parents on how they raise their kids to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these traits of bad parenting have a lifelong irreversible impact on children. Watch out for the above signs and avoid them in order to support your parenting. Trust your kids, spend time with them, exchange experience, and embrace your love for them. Don’t forget these symptoms, as well as tips for breaking them because they will be grown up quickly in no time!
Remember, it’s better to make mistakes when trying something new than not to try anything at all.