Early in the relationship, passion can hide the differences. However, after a period of togetherness, couples often discover that the partner is not quite the way he or she thought. We realize that our better half has different plans and dreams from ours; some annoying defects; or ideas even contrary to ours on certain subjects. So, it’s normal for arguments to happen, and the two of you need readjustments to meet needs, “cut corners,” and resolve conflicts in the relationship.
So, check out the tips to not let fights take over and spark the relationship again:
Understand that disagreements are not disasters
Remember that no relationship is perfect. In addition, many couples say they can turn conflict and problem solving into personal learning. Differences are not necessarily an issue. They are our truth.
It is necessary to give up the myth that you work as a
For this, it is important to learn to “agree to disagree” and honor the other’s right to their own opinion. Also, always keep in mind that good, long-lasting relationships are built day after day, including fight days.
It is necessary to trust the relationship
In order to deal with conflicts in relationships, it is essential, first of all, to have security in the relationship. In this way, speaking frankly with your partner is possible, knowing that a difference of opinion will not undermine the relationship or mutual affection. In addition, it’s easier to be honest about your thoughts and feelings when you’re not afraid of the other person’s reaction.
Be willing to talk
When we disagree and are willing to accept what the other is saying, we create more trust. Disagreements allow us to see and accept differences. We share what is real about us and develop greater solidarity with each other with ideas, feelings, desires, and sensitivity. And we also learned to accept ourselves and recognize the right to express our opinions and have them respected.
Be clear about what you feel
Use first-person sentences. Talk more about yourself and your feelings rather than what you think your partner is doing or thinking. Also, focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. This will give your partner a clearer understanding of your desires and what you expect from him.
Show that you are on the same team
Listen carefully and with interest. Show that you understand and accept your partner’s feelings. Hurry up to show empathy, not to point out faults or minimize emotions.
Pay attention first to feelings, then to information (ask yourself what is true or makes sense of what the other is saying). This strategy allows you to focus on your partner’s message and not get caught up in blame or criticism that can backfire on you.
Try these 3 steps
Resolve conflicts amicably with these three steps:
- Each describes the problem in one or two sentences.
- Analyze your concerns about the problem as well as your partner’s.
- Explore a range of solutions that address your deepest concerns as well as the problem at hand.
Learn from fights
Listening to your partner effectively and striving to reach a consensus means much more than preventing fights from becoming routine and taking over the relationship. Learning from fights will also help you and your partner get to know and understand each other better.
Finally, in addition to following these tips, remember that sharing daily activities, making time to spend with each other, and taking the relationship into account when making plans is also fundamental for the couple’s harmony and communication.