What’s Your Opinion: My daughter is 3 years old and I’m a teen mom. Is it wrong that I think of giving her up for adoption so she can have a better life?
People’s Opinions Matter
Mandy Keim opinion~ This is a very intense question. I will do my best. You asked if it was “wrong” to think of giving her up. That entirely depends on why and what you hope for her.
The first 5 years of a child’s life are most critical in establishing many things, but the most important of those is relationships. Giving up a child at age 3 is a much more difficult process for the child than at birth, so I would recommend working with a competent and sensitive social worker/counselor who can help support you and your child emotionally. IF that ends up being your decision, please make the last gift you give your child the gift of doing it right. Don’t run away and turn your back because it’s too hard for you: do what SHE needs to get through the transition.
That being said:
History is full of mothers who have made sacrifices so that their children could have a better life. There also isn’t a good mother in the world who doesn’t question if she’s doing enough, or who doesn’t want more for their children. The question is: would it really be better for her? What a child needs more than anything is a loving and secure bond with a parent in a safe home.
What do YOU want, in the best of all possible worlds? You didn’t really say.
Do you love her and want her but just need more help? Do you honestly resent her and just want a good reason to walk away?
It’s time, to be honest with yourself about how you feel and then start from there.
If your only concern is about money or opportunity, believe me:
she would rather stay with you. If your relationship is strained due to resentment, that’s something to look at carefully. If you are abusing or neglecting her, that’s a sign to get help immediately.
In the end, this isn’t a question that can be answered on Quora. Please find a therapist that you can talk this through with. It’s a HUGE deal with a lot of questions to be asked. Find someone who can help you sort through those questions.
WHAT’S YOUR OPINION?
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